120307 again

I have a confession to make. I have recently been dealing with sin in my life like never before. I’m involved in a home study group and we have been doing a study from James McDonald called Downpour. The study is to help stir revival and a return to the Lord. As a fairly new believer, I don’t think I have turned from the Lord, on the contrary, my love for the Lord burns as deeply and brightly as on the day that He saved me. I do however think, as a new believer, this study is helping me to realize all the sin in my life I haven’t dealt with yet. We are at the point in the study that is taking a long hard look at the sin and is now showing how to repent of that sin. As I posted in an earlier blog, I discovered last week the cause for all my trouble at work has been me, my disrespect, my disobedience, my failure to submit, for which I repented and found peace again.

It’s funny because I am also reading a book called “The Bondage Breaker” by Neil T. Anderson for overcoming negative thoughts, irrational feelings and habitual sins. In this book, Mr. Anderson reveals how the enemy uses sin against us by accusing us and tempting us and we fall for his lies and it keeps us in bondage. Mr. Anderson expresses the importance of repentance and how people don’t necessarily understand what it means to repent. He then goes on to say that repentance isn’t just saying you are sorry and asking for forgiveness, it is also admitting your sin and proclaiming you are wrong. Somehow, I didn’t fully comprehend that until I read this. Looking back to last week, I now understand I finally repented because that was exactly how I approached the Lord on that day. I admitted what I was doing was wrong and asked for forgiveness and was freed!

That leads me to today. I’m still reading this book and the chapter I’m reading right now is talking about how we deceive ourselves, specifically this verse :

James 1:26
26If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

And he goes on to say, “There is nothing that grieves God more than when we bad-mouth people instead of building them up with our speech.” I was suddenly stopped in my tracks because I do this. I was kidding myself into thinking I wasn’t doing anything wrong because I wasn’t calling people names, but I am wrong. I immediately prayed to the Lord and confessed my sin and told Him I am wrong and I repent and I asked for forgiveness and the strength to speak only words that edify from now on. And I thank God He is searching my heart always and revealing my sin to me because it increases my faith, knowing that despite myself, He hasn’t given up on me, that every trial, every test is a gift from God for sanctification through Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! Praise God!