Dear God,

Thank You for saving me from me! The pastor at church spoke those words tonight and they really touched my heart because, as You know, I did a really good job of trying to destroy my own life. Those words made me want to write down more of my life story, to rehash all those old haunting memories, to write them down because I know confessing them will finally purge them from me. The trouble is, there are just so many painful things to remember I can’t seem to get them out in more than small increments. What was I thinking all those years ago when I told You to go away? A friend of mine told me my blogs are always sad. He’s right to a certain extent because I have a lot of sad memories living without You, 42 years worth that need to be purged from my memory and my heart. And since I am just 44 years old now, I am still a brand new creation in Christ, a baby of just 19 months, making brand new memories of joy and peace thanks to You! And I have wonderful new memories already. Memories of You answering prayers and speaking to me and showing me how You were always with me. Memories of Your mercy and healing, of You freeing me from the chains that were killing me. I have joy now because You saved me from me! Thank You for saving my soul! Thank You for sticking by me through all the years of my stubborness! Thank You! I love You!!