monday

i am tired... i worked 13 hours yesterday, from 0700 until 2100, almost non-stop... and today was just as busy... no breaks, no lunch, no on time relief... we are very short staffed... i pray for God to be fired because i am tired of the OR... He’s been giving me new dreams of what i want to be and they have nothing much to do with the OR the way i do it now... i really feel like i’m being drawn to missions work and i am now taking a class about missions... i also feel like He wants me to get back into more hands on nursing... the kind where i can sit and talk to people... encourage them, build them up, give them hope... so i’m going to look into home health and maybe hospice and maybe aids care... i’m not entirely sure where this road is leading, but i do know God will make it an adventure... the important thing to remember is the journey and the people to be helped along the way...

i recently read a book called “lifestories” by mark hall of the band “casting crowns” and he pointed out that we shouldn’t be so focused on the goal that we miss out on the journey to the goal... he also pointed out how Jesus Christ was always going somewhere, but He also stopped all along the way to reach out to people, to heal them, to teach them, to save them... i want to be like that... like Jesus... and i also realized recently that nobody in all my 43 years ever reached out to me with the love of Jesus Christ until i met a girl at work when i was 42 years old... how does that happen? 42 years? not one single soul? i thank God for her everyday because she allowed Him to use her for His purpose, to share the love of Jesus Christ with a desperately sad 42 year old with not much reason to live... how do you suppose what she did for me could have helped a 21 year old lost boy who was so broken he thought it was okay to shoot and kill 30 some kids at VT and then himself? i wonder if anybody in all his 21 years ever had the guts to share the love of Jesus Christ with him? and now he’s gone, along with so many others and we will never know if they ever heard... i can’t say this often enough or loud enough, Jesus Christ is the way the truth and the life and i want to make sure that people at least hear this glorious news! God loves you, whoever you are!

i thank God for all those He is saving because He allowed me to be used as a vessel to do His planting and i am in awe and total amazement that He would allow me to see the fruit that is growing from the seed i planted for Him!!! that is what He has done for me in recent weeks and it blows me away!!! God is faithful!!!