121807

How do you flee from temptation when it’s in your head? It’s one thing to flee from temptation outside of myself, like drinking and smoking and pornography and gossip... but what do I do with the stuff in my head? I didn’t have such a great day at work yesterday. I felt that old righteous indignation again because of the way they run the place and I confess, I was swearing and angry and bad mouthing people. I finally went into the lounge for a minute and cried to release the anger in my head before my brain exploded and took a deep breath and went back to work with a slightly better attitude and outlook. I am ashamed of the way I behave in those moments, but it’s like another person takes over my brain, which is no excuse for bad behavior, just an explanation of what happens to me. The day ended, like it always does and I came home and I repented again and it occurred to me that the other day I committed a sin, willfully, and never repented for that sin (I’ve never repented of it at all since being saved), and I wondered if by sinning on purpose, I haven’t somehow opened a door, even if just a small amount, that allows the enemy to get his foot in the crack letting other bad stuff flow into my heart more easily? I just thank God with all I have that His mercy is new every morning! Please pray for me, a sinner.