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I have a confession to make. I am not the most friendly person. In fact I can be down right unfriendly. I don't like to socialize much. I never have. I do not have the gift of hospitality. At all. I spend 8 hours at work Monday through Friday and 6 hours in ministry on Sunday. I spend more time with people now than I ever have in my whole life and it is very hard because I am not a friendly person. The hardest thing for me right now is being acutely aware of the fact I am unfriendly, knowing the Lord wants me to be the complete opposite of what I've been all my life. Everyday I tell Him I will do my best to be friendly and open and loving and compassionate all day long. And if I manage to live up to that expectation of myself 50% of the time, then I'm not doing too terrible, I guess. I pray about this frequently, but so far haven't been given any revelation on how to eradicate this unfriendliness. I just thank God everyday for new mercy because I certainly need it. I so want to be a friendly person 100% of the time. I don't want to complain about anything ever again. I don't ever want to gossip again. I don't ever want people to look at me and see 'that face' without some obvious reason again. There is no reasonable explanation to me for my unfriendly attitude. No excuse. I just keep hoping if I keep seeking the Lord and His direction that one day, somewhere down the road, I'll wake up and realize I am no longer that unfriendly person. I know He can change my heart utterly and completely. I know it as surely as I know the sun will rise tomorrow. I just wish He'd do it in my timing instead of His. I am impatient too. Thank God His mercy is new every morning.