dear God,

i am truly amazed and blown away everyday by how great You are... to hear of how You are working throughout all the world to reach people with Your truth is mind blowing to me... the fact You can reach all of us and hear all of us at once is astounding... i feel so grateful that You hear me as if i were the only one speaking to You... i had a hard week dealing with people who are just so mean and belligerent... i don't know how to live in a world that is growing increasingly more hostile... thank You for speaking to me through Your word, revealing Your truth... You test me everyday and everyday i fail... forgive me... Your word says: 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. and i somehow always manage to fall short... forgive me and help me to become the image of You, Jesus... i need Your help desperately to live the way You want me to and i want to live a life that is pleasing to You... forgive me for hiding from my neighbor because i think she is odd... forgive me for reacting to my co-worker in a harsh way because he hurt my feelings... please fill me with Your Spirit until You overflow from my heart in such a way that people will see Your light shining in me so they would be drawn to You... i am just a cracked vessel who would go anywhere and do anything You ask me to do... and i thank You from the bottom of my heart for giving me another chance to get it right... thank You for loving me and for dying for me... thank You for Your mercy... please keep changing me into the person who can represent You for Your glory... i love You more than i ever thought i could love anyone! i ask all in Jesus' name, amen

when i asked God how to deal, the best thing happened... this is what He said to me:

Ezekiel 2

1 And He said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak to you.” 2 Then the Spirit entered me when He spoke to me, and set me on my feet; and I heard Him who spoke to me. 3 And He said to me: “Son of man, I am sending you to the children of Israel,(substitute all references to the house of Israel with the OR of aventura) to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against Me; they and their fathers have transgressed against Me to this very day. 4 For they are impudent and stubborn children. I am sending you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD.’ 5 As for them, whether they hear or whether they refuse—for they are a rebellious house—yet they will know that a prophet has been among them. 6 “And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and you dwell among scorpions; do not be afraid of their words or dismayed by their looks, though they are a rebellious house. 7 You shall speak My words to them, whether they hear or whether they refuse, for they are rebellious. 8 But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Do not be rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.”

Ezekiel 3

1 Moreover He said to me, “Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.” 2 So I opened my mouth, and He caused me to eat that scroll.

3 And He said to me, “Son of man, feed your belly, and fill your stomach with this scroll that I give you.” So I ate, and it was in my mouth like honey in sweetness.

4 Then He said to me: “Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak with My words to them. 5 For you are not sent to a people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, but to the house of Israel, 6 not to many people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely, had I sent you to them, they would have listened to you. 7 But the house of Israel will not listen to you, because they will not listen to Me; for all the house of Israel are impudent and hard-hearted. 8 Behold, I have made your face strong against their faces, and your forehead strong against their foreheads. 9 Like adamant stone, harder than flint, I have made your forehead; do not be afraid of them, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they are a rebellious house.”

i love when God speaks to me so clearly... our God reigns!